


The Definition of Insanity

by Misery_Martini



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Dark, I Went to My Dark Place Again, Insanity, Post-Game, introspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22537660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misery_Martini/pseuds/Misery_Martini
Summary: Shuichi muses to himself after completing the game.
Kudos: 11





	The Definition of Insanity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Livered](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Livered/gifts).



Shuichi sat back, his head resting against the stone pillar as he slowly exhaled. Time passed slowly here among the lush green trees and calm waters of the man made lake. It was a safe haven he'd found when he initially walked the graveled lakeshore path. Closing his eyes, he could picture in his mind the stained glass walls and dark blue hues of the room that haunted him. His grip on the platnium, turquoise blue podium stand tightening, turning his knuckles white... The pinkish blur of his first trusted friend flashing before his eyes as she was wisked away to her demise...

His breathing hitched and left him gasping for air.

It was as if he'd been drowning in the sea of his own mind. No—he _had_ been drowning. This is his life now. Shattered fragments of his memories attacked him when he least expected it. They'd all been aware that nightmares were the common side effect for participating in _Danganronpa_ , but when Kirumi had handed Ryoma a glass of water at lunch and he'd dropped it with the most pained, frightened look in his eyes they knew. They all knew at that moment that the price for _Dangranronpa_ had been akin to them selling their souls to the devil.

_Just like Fau_ _stus had to forgo all his worldly pleasures, so do we..._ Shuichi mused.

It was true that Shuichi enjoyed reading. _Had_ enjoyed reading. It was really all because of _Danganronpa._ Everything he ever loved was because of _Danganronpa._ Honestly, the first time he'd ever heard of _Danganronpa_ was when he watched a playthrough on YouTube. Weebs worldwide were going bonkers for the obscure, groundbreaking game and Shuichi just had to know what the deal was. The music was catchy—a sort of electrojazz pop—a mix of high energy, upbeat tones. The animated characters, all fully fleshed out, had a charming appeal. And when Monokuma, the two toned mascot bear of the game had announced the intention—that _horrible, wonderful_ intention—of turning murder into a game...

Shuichi was sold. The twisted, macabre, vicious idea was planted into his brain and took hold. _It was the beginning of the end..._

He coughed in order to ground himself in the present moment. His heartbeat had sped up while he mused over the past and he ran his index finger in the soft dirt. He hated this perverted feeling. He tried focusing on breathing again and emptying his mind while he traced a small circle in ground.

Circle.

Round circle.

Full circle.

Vicious circle.

A round, full, vicious circle...

Shuichi yelled in anger, his hand clawed away the fragile circle he created in the soil. His life was a round, full, vicious circle of death and destruction. Of highs and lows. Shortlived. There was no minute in the day or night when he felt safe. When he didn't feel as if some stuffed teddy bear was watching him or when he didn't attribute people's actions to a sinister motive. He felt like the definition of insanity.

Even now, when all 16 of them were recovering from the aftermath of the game, they'd separated. Just like how Monokuma had wanted. They were all, in one way or another, struggling to live with the self they'd been before the game and the self they were now.

But Shuichi knew what he was. He had been a mess before _Danganronpa_ and he was a mess now.

A total human disaster.

An unwanted freak.

Hatred and boredom in human form.

An object.

To be used for despair.

Shuichi began laughing, deep gutteral laughs from within his soul spilled out of his mouth.

He was on his hands and knees, looking at the roughed up soil in front of him like a madman. His laughter was so intense, so hysterical, that tears welled up in his eyes and rolled down his face. He was Monokuma's bitch, wasn't he? His love for the game series had broken him so thoroughly that Shuichi couldn't be sure who he was anymore.

Shuichi collapsed onto the ground, face first into the dirt. His tears slowly mixed with the soil creating mud. With his insanity guiding him, Shuichi smeared the mud across his face. _He was a pig, a dirty whore pig._ He'd squeal for anyone's attention but at the end of the day he belonged in the mud.

The only thing that needed him now was _Danganronpa_. He signed his name in blood and he was married to despair itself. His laughter slowed, a few chuckles escaping from his lips as he contemplated life after living his dream.

Whoever any of them were didn't _matter_.

_They_ didn't matter.

Only the _game_ mattered.

In silence, Shuichi crawled toward the lake's edge. He sat cross legged as he stared out over the water while the sun's fading rays glinted across the surface, fully entranced.

The nurses found him in that position at twilight, half naked from the waist up and covered from head to toe in mud. A small smile locked onto his face.

Shuichi was at peace with himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! You there!   
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